Rate this Entry

Civility

Posted 09-16-2009 at 06:56 AM by ostarella
Updated 09-16-2009 at 06:59 AM by ostarella

I'm not usually one to read columnist's diatribes in the papers, particularly from religion-based columists. But this one caught my eye.

https://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/o...J%2BqVyw%3D%3D

I find myself hard-pressed not to agree with the man. Particularly if you read further down at some of the comments. Talk about MISSING THE POINT!

There have been discussions all over the net - on blogs, on boards, in chats - about how people don't know how to disagree any more. They don't know how to debate the issues without insulting the person who believes something different. But it's going far beyond that now. People have decided that because they're on Twitter or Facebook or MySpace or LiveJournal, or have their own webpage or blog here or there, that they're SOMEBODY. And that means that they have a right to spout their opinion at any and all opportunities and in whatever manner they wish to do so.

That's not saying people shouldn't state their opinions. But what happened to being polite? What happened to decorum? As the columnist says, what's happened to civility?

I have a rep for speaking my mind. And I do tend to speak my mind rather forcefully - on my own blogs. I also offer the opportunity for rebuttal. I've even been known to apologize on occasion.

But I also know when to keep my mouth shut. I also know there's a time and a place for expressing disagreement.

I've left a couple of groups because I was sick of the behavior and the constant sniping that went on, and come close on a couple of others. I'm sick of people forgetting that their opinion isn't any more right than the next guy's. Why should we respect their opinion, or them, when they refuse to do the same?

I used to think it was just my age; young people just weren't taught any better. But I was wrong. Age doesn't matter. I've seen as many jackass comments from people my age and older as I have the young. So maybe we all need to be reminded, as Jay Leno reminded Kanye West - what would your mother say?

Hopefully your mother knew how to be polite.

Comments 8

Total Comments 8

Comments

Well said, well written .....I think you are so right!!!
There is a time to speak and not speak, and to use some tact, is that so wrong. People should stand up and say what they believe or want or feel, but you are right, with respect and an open mind...and accepting to the fact that we all don't have to agree because that is what makes us all unique. If we all agreed what would facilitate the progression of things....isn't it discussion, debate and the expression of different ideas what makes the "world go round" so to speak. Not to sound repetative, but you said it right

I think anyway!
ps. Excuse the bad punctuation, I have a love for run on sentences we go way back....hahaha, that was a great read, i look forward to more of what you have to say in the future. M.

Posted 09-16-2009 at 01:13 PM by Mirjana Mirjana is offline

Well, I think a lot of the rudeness we see nowadays is simply a matter of an over-inflated ego. There's a book I've been intending to get, called "The Death of the Grown-up" - which basically says Americans (although I think it goes world-wide) have a bad case of arrested development. The idea of acting like adults is somehow outmoded and behaving like spoiled children is ignored or even applauded.

And that attitude carries forward into many more areas than just speaking civilly to one another.

Posted 09-16-2009 at 01:22 PM by ostarella ostarella is offline

That sounds like an interesting book, and i agree on the worldwide stage and ego's do seem to be huge. I always say to my kids "treat others, how you want to be treated" and you just don't see that anymore in the media, or in the way people present themselves publicly anymore. They have an i don't care attitude, which can be good a good one, but it all depends on how you apply it and use it in your life. if everyone tries their best to act as adults in life....life would probably run a little smoother, life is hard enough as it is...then throw childlike, unrespectful, behaviour into the mix as an example, to people and young impressionable kids... how is anyone supposed to be getting anywhere lol...
Sorry didn't mean to go off there lol!!! Yes i totally agree, some people need to get a grip

talk to you soon,
M

Posted 09-16-2009 at 01:36 PM by Mirjana Mirjana is offline

	Well said, O. I fully agree. I'm dismayed on a daily basis by the lack of simple, basic respect I see. Although respect is earned, everyone deserves to be shown a basic level of respect until they prove unworthy of it; and even then courtesy should be extended. It's a pity we've forgotten that. Well done. I am Dawg
	Posted 09-16-2009 at 09:56 PM by John Pickard

Sometimes I think there's a paradox at work, exacerbating the problem. Someone gets nasty and others try to resolve things in a polite and civil manner - and it doesn't work, because the nasties don't care about polite and civil.

I think there's a point where, to paraphrase you

, they lose the "right" to respect. It's like telling your child not to hit. They keep hitting. At some point, the child needs a hard swat on the behind - to get their attention, to let them know what it feels like to get hit. Then it's over. Lesson learned. With these people, the loss of respect is the swat - the courtesy is only doing it once.

I just wish there weren't so many behinds in need of that swat.

Posted 09-17-2009 at 08:04 AM by ostarella ostarella is offline

I'm reminded of the comments from a Wikipedia guy after they changed their editing settings. He said (roughly) that there were just people out there who were deliberately being rude, obtuse and annoying - who get off on that.

Trolling - as we've come to know it on the net. There's something about sitting and typing at your desk in your own home that makes a person think they can just type what they are thinking in their head or have so little else in their lives that they enjoy being a troll? I'm sure most trolls are much more polite face-to-face - otherwise they'd get knocked out more often!

Kinda like being drunk - more extreme versions of our personalities come through?

Posted 09-18-2009 at 03:39 PM by deebeelicious deebeelicious is offline

I think the biggest problem with the internet is the anonymity. You talk to someone face-to-face, write a letter to the editor - you have to own up to what you say or write. With the internet, there's no accountability until you go so far out of line that you get banned by the site. Granted, there are security issues involved in that anonymity - but people seem to think that because some sites let some people get by with all kinds of crap, that it's okay to carry that to the next step.

I don't know - it just seems like there's so much nastiness in the world already, why do people think they need to add to it? Or worse yet, that they have a right to?

Posted 09-18-2009 at 04:21 PM by ostarella ostarella is offline

Well written and said Ostarella and food for thought.

I also came across this article on netiquette.
https://internet.suite101.com/article...tte_guidelines

That book "Death of the Grown-up" sounds very interesting.

"I don't know - it just seems like there's so much nastiness in the world already, why do people think they need to add to it? Or worse yet, that they have a right to?"

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.
I'd rather give someone a hug than fight.

Posted 09-21-2009 at 09:21 AM by bibbi bibbi is offline

Updated 09-21-2009 at 09:29 AM by bibbi